IT WASN'T VERY LONG AGO WHEN I WAS IN THAT SAME BOAT.
I HAD THE SEEMINGLY PERFECT MARRIAGE, A CORPORATE JOB, A GREAT EDUCATION...
BUT I FELT BROKEN.
WHAT STARTED OUT AS A TINY DOUBT IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD SAYING, "IS THIS IT?" HAD BECOME A LARGE, SOUL-QUAKING, PANIC-INDUCING FEAR.
"WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE?"
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? I THOUGHT.
I WENT FROM INCREDIBLE TRAUMA AND TRAGEDY IN MY LIFE TO LIVING WHAT MOST PEOPLE THOUGHT WAS THE PERFECT LIFE... BUT I STILL FELT MISERABLE. WASTING MY LIFE AWAY. I WANTED TO CHANGE THE WORLD. I WANTED TO DO AND SEE #ALLTHETHINGS.
I FELT ALONE. I KNEW THAT SOMEDAY, I WAS GOING TO DO SOMETHING HUGE WITH MY LIFE, BUT AT THE TIME, I FELT SO CONSTRICTED. I ALWAYS FELT A LITTLE OUT-OF-STEP, DANCING TO THE BEAT OF MY OWN DRUM, IF YOU WILL. LIKE TRYING TO FIT A ROUND PEG INTO A SQUARE HOLE.
THERE IT WAS AGAIN - SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME, I THOUGHT.
YOU SEE, THERE WASN'T ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME. AND, THERE ISN'T ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
SOCIETY HAS CONDITIONED US TO GO TO COLLEGE, GET A GOOD JOB, MARRY, HAVE KIDS, RETIRE, AND THEN TRAVEL. I DIDN'T WANT THAT FOR MY LIFE, AND I'M GUESSING YOU DON'T WANT THAT FOR YOURS, EITHER.
THOSE INTENSE FEELINGS OF A LIFE UNLIVED LED TO ME SEVERAL SERIOUS MENTAL BREAKDOWNS. I HAD CRIPPLING ANXIETY, TAKING ME OUT OF WORK FOR SIX MONTHS AT A TIME.
I WAS HOSPITALIZED THREE DIFFERENT TIMES - THE LAST BECAUSE I OVERDOSED ON 32 PRESCRIPTION SLEEPING PILLS IN AN ATTEMPT TO END MY LIFE. AFTER NINE DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL, I WAS GIVEN A NEW CHANCE AT LIFE.
GOD SPARED ME.
I HEARD THAT STILL SMALL VOICE SAY,
YOUR STORY IS NOT OVER YET.
I LEFT THE SOUL-SUCKING CORPORATE JOB AND ABUSIVE MARRIAGE. I LOST 123 LBS, REMARRIED, GOT AN MBA, CURED MY ANXIETY, AND STARTED AN ONLINE COACHING BUSINESS THAT ALLOWS ME TO TRANSFORM THE LIVES OF WOMEN ALL OVER THE WORLD. I SHOW THEM THAT THEIR STORY DOESN'T DEFINE OR CONFINE THEM.
YOU REALLY CAN HAVE IT ALL - A HAPPY FAMILY, WORLD TRAVEL, ADVENTURE, SIGNIFICANCE, AND AN ONLINE COACHING BUSINESS THAT IS FULFILLING AND LUCRATIVE.
HERE'S THE THING THOUGH...
I AM NOT SPECIAL.
IN ALL REALITY, I HAD PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING STACKED AGAINST ME: ABUSE AS A CHILD, KICKED OUT AT 14, DRUG ADDICTION, HUMAN TRAFFICKING, TEEN PREGNANCY, OBESITY, POVERTY, CRIPPLING ANXIETY, PTSD, UNTREATABLE AND INCURABLE HEALTH ISSUES, AND AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE. OH, AND ALSO MULTIPLE INCURABLE AND UNTREATABLE HEALTH ISSUES.
STATISTICS SAY THAT PEOPLE LIKE ME DON'T THRIVE. IN FACT, PEOPLE LIKE ME DON'T USUALLY MAKE IT TO SEE THIRTY. OR, IF PEOPLE LIKE ME DO, THEY'RE INCARCERATED OR INCAPACITATED IN OTHER WAYS.
I WAS JUST A GIRL, LIVING IN A TINY TOWN IN THE MIDDLE-OF-NOWHERE, IOWA, WHO DECIDED THAT ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH.
INSTEAD OF BEING A VICTIM OF MY CIRCUMSTANCE, I CHOSE TO BE A VICTOR OF MY CIRCUMSTANCE.
I LEARNED THAT THE ONLY WAY TO GLORY IS TO WORK THROUGH YOUR STORY. I USED MY STORY AS A CATALYST TO CHANGE.